my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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