Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
and you fell through a lawn chair
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
