32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Randomize
