We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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