I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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