when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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