Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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