Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
