The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
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