I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Randomize
