I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
