that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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