was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
