my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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