I need help removing her.
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
