Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Randomize
