the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to put some appletini on your dick
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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