I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
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