I wanna bring you to show and tell
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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