I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
