C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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