Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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