Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
