fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize