yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
