Barsexuality is the new black.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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