dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
