I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
