Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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