Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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