Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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