your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
