You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
