Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize