I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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