Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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