I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
