WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
