i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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