I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
