Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Randomize
