you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
