Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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