Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I will die if light touches me.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
