I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
