I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
