I'm gonna have a badass scar
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
