**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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