you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
