I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
