I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
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