I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
