Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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