I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
