I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Randomize
