Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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