Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
