What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
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