You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
