Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Come see our sink grown plant.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize