im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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