I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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