is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
