I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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