He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
