i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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