k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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