I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
