Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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