The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize